Archive | July 2014


My creative writing class is requiring that we submit our best work from the semester for publication as part of our final.


I have some issues with this.


It almost goes against my principles. I don’t want to submit work for publication unless I think it is worthy of being published, and, quite frankly, none of my work is worthy of being published. I don’t say that out of a sense of modesty; I think my writing is good, but I do have certain standard for the quality of work that should be published and none of my work is going to cut it. I don’t have the gall (and I use the term affectionately) required for submitting work for publication.


Still, I must submit the work in order to get a grade for my final. My “best” work from the semester. How in blue blazes am I supposed to know what my best work is? My poems got better grades than my creative nonfiction, which I like better, and I have not yet received a grade for my two short stories or scene (from the drama unit). I won’t get grades for those before I have to submit something.


I really can’t see myself becoming an independent or published artist, writer, or other creative-type person– making a living off of my craft or what have you. I don’t have the gall. I’d like to share my work, certainly, but the whole money thing makes everything complicated. Especially now, where there are so many people who want to do that. I don’t think I could do it.


Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong, and I certainly don’t mean anything against anyone who is pursuing a career as a self-made, self-published creative-type person– that’s not it at all. I just think I was made of different stuff, and I can’t conceive of doing this for publication or income.


It does make things difficult for me, though. I turn my hobbies into projects, which makes it harder to use them for ‘winding down’ purposes, but I can’t seem to turn them into work with income. I’m almost repelled by the idea. So where does that leave me? Theoretically, I suppose it would leave me with a job, but I’ve been having difficulty with that as well. I just have to be confident that somehow something will work out.

The end is near

Well, it’s almost the end of the semester. I still have some assignments here or there, nothing I’m intensely concerned about. I hope to spend some quality time with my roommates in our last one and a half weeks together.


We’re planning on having a Sharable– that is, a little party where we get together and share excerpts from what we’ve written over the semester. I did this last year, and I enjoy the tradition. I plan on converting the “Sharable” concept into audio form and make a sort of podcast where I get to share my experiences with writing and some of my creative works-in-porgress.


That’s going to be one of my summer projects. Along with some video projects, writing projects, maybe even some art projects. I did a concept sketch yesterday that I kind of liked. I’ve recently came to a decision about my artwork– if I want to keep on doing it, I’ve got to create images that I will enjoy coloring. That generally means focussing on the people, and not creating backgrounds with a lot of empty space. Skies, for instance. Skies, unless done right, usually bore me to death. Trees too might get tedious. That’s the trick then, whatever I draw, it must not be tedious to color, or I’m going to lose interest in artwork and abandon it in favor of other projects. I don’t want that to happen if I an avoid it. I like this concept that I have. When I have time and space, I’ll be able to work on it.



As you know, I like to take some time near the end of each semester to reflect.


First of all, I became a gateway seminar coordinator. I am assured that I have done an excellent job and that my contributions have been valuable. However, though I was qualified, I was not chosen to be a director for the Inspired Learning and Teaching Gateway Seminar. I’m grateful to have been able to serve in the capacities that I did, and for what I learned from the experience.


I had hoped to find a job so that I could stay here for fall semester (BYU-I has a two-track system, look it up for clarification), but perhaps I was too confident in my ability to get into the few positions I applied to. If I were wise, I would have applied to much more. But I don’t like the idea of getting a job just for the sake of having a job. I want to work somewhere where I could really contribute something, somewhere where my unique skills and talents would be valued. Anyway, I don’t see how I can stay here for the fall and I have no idea what I would do if I went home again. I’m trying not to let it bother me.


Instead, I want to focus on my achievements. For one thing, I made a pretty neat engagement gift for my roommate. I’ve been working on some video projects. I’ve done a number of writing assignments for my various classes, some of which I even like. I’ve served as a Relief Society instructor and gateway seminar coordinator. I’ll be finishing up an 18-20 page paper for one of my classes before Wednesday. My grades have been pretty good. Also, I made pancakes a couple of times this semester. That makes me happy. I missed having pancakes.


Well… that’s it, really. Everything else is sort of… unsure. While I’m on vacation, I intend to write, and maybe work on some art projects. I can finish up those video projects. Maybe I can even compile them in some way, and make them into a gift. I could do another book, like what I made for my roommate’s engagement. I don’t know what organizing subject I would work with though. If any of my writing turns out decent, I could make it into an audiobook and probably give it to one of my siblings as a gift. There’s still the youtube channel idea, but I’m not sure I want to consider the idea before I’m certain my work is of good enough quality, and my Creative Writing class has taught me to have reservations on that matter.