It’s been pretty busy. The siblings didn’t have school on Friday, so we’re having a three-day weekend. This was big, of course, because my brother hadn’t been home for long, so of course we had to do things with him and talk with him and stuff. Also, my grandparents and cousin decided to visit for the occasion. So… now we have a lot of people and a lot of stuff going on.
Interestingly enough, I still managed to do a decent amount of artwork yesterday, despite the fact that I wasn’t feeling very much like doing it and that there was so much going on because of my brother. This was mostly because the activities of choice were mainly playing board games and going frisbee golfing, neither of which I find very interesting. That was fine, since I spent a lot of Thursday talking to him, so it gave the rest of my family a chance to spend time with him. So I had some time to myself, and I discovered that Leverage was on Hulu. I could make myself to artwork if I convinced myself not to watch Leverage unless I did so while coloring. My plans for spending time with my brother yesterday were to watch The Hobbit with him, but my Grandparents arrived in the middle of the troll scene, so we never finished. But that’s okay. Today is my other brother’s birthday. So we’re still going to be busy, but I bet I can find some time to do artwork if I really tried.
As for this latest image, I think it looks kinda pretty. I’m already intensely aware of what I consider to be a flaw in the image though, so it’s hard to be completely satisfied. Nevertheless, I think it will be a worthy addition once I finish it. Finishing it is the problem though. There’s an emotional pay off that comes with completing an image, but recently it’s been harder to feel that payoff. I’m not satisfied with what I create, I’m frustrated because I feel limited in my abilities– not only my artistic ability, but other creative endeavors like writing a story– I feel isolated at times, and sometimes I think I would really just rather settle down with a book for a while.
And then of course, there’s all the distractions this week.
I can’t think of what else to do except push through, realizing that I will find it all worth it next year when I go to school and show off my artwork. And maybe one day I will complete a story.