My creative writing class is requiring that we submit our best work from the semester for publication as part of our final.


I have some issues with this.


It almost goes against my principles. I don’t want to submit work for publication unless I think it is worthy of being published, and, quite frankly, none of my work is worthy of being published. I don’t say that out of a sense of modesty; I think my writing is good, but I do have certain standard for the quality of work that should be published and none of my work is going to cut it. I don’t have the gall (and I use the term affectionately) required for submitting work for publication.


Still, I must submit the work in order to get a grade for my final. My “best” work from the semester. How in blue blazes am I supposed to know what my best work is? My poems got better grades than my creative nonfiction, which I like better, and I have not yet received a grade for my two short stories or scene (from the drama unit). I won’t get grades for those before I have to submit something.


I really can’t see myself becoming an independent or published artist, writer, or other creative-type person– making a living off of my craft or what have you. I don’t have the gall. I’d like to share my work, certainly, but the whole money thing makes everything complicated. Especially now, where there are so many people who want to do that. I don’t think I could do it.


Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong, and I certainly don’t mean anything against anyone who is pursuing a career as a self-made, self-published creative-type person– that’s not it at all. I just think I was made of different stuff, and I can’t conceive of doing this for publication or income.


It does make things difficult for me, though. I turn my hobbies into projects, which makes it harder to use them for ‘winding down’ purposes, but I can’t seem to turn them into work with income. I’m almost repelled by the idea. So where does that leave me? Theoretically, I suppose it would leave me with a job, but I’ve been having difficulty with that as well. I just have to be confident that somehow something will work out.

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